Hasty Ruminations

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Friday, August 11, 2006

Another Airport Clampdown


Open note to Mike Chertoff:

I commanded a Navy ship after Vietnam. I taught my crew this about security:

If the first thing you do everytime someone gets spooked is tighten up security, then day-to-day security is inadequate.

Criminally inadequate.

A few years ago, the airlines blew security, and turned it over to the feds. The feds did what they always do: they quickly set up a big budget, hired untrained people, and began a detailed, convoluted pattern of blowing it big time.

On top of all that, we have let someone convince us that "racial profiling" to find a suspect is a bad thing.

Here's the list of terrorists arrested in this latest fiasco:

ALI, Abdula, Ahmed
ALI, Cossor
ALI, Shazad, Khuram
KAYANI, Waseem
KHAN, Assan, Abdullah
KHAN, Waheed, Arafat
KHATIB, Osman, Adam
PATEL, Abdul, Muneem

RAUF, Tayib
SADDIQUE, Muhammed, Usman
SAVANT, Ibrahim

TARIQ, Amin, Asmin
UDDIN, Shamin, Mohammed
ZAMAN, Waheed

Anybody else see a pattern?


a. Get one set of security rules which work from the experts, and don't tighten them.

b. NEVER admit to racial profiling.

c. Find a new name for racial profiling, like, say, suspect filtering.

d. ALWAYS apply suspect filtering secretly, and ALWAYS put them under a very intense, uncomfortable microscope which forces them to miss their flights.


  • At 11:53 AM, Blogger Greg Finnegan said…

    Check this out. I just found it.


  • At 12:21 PM, Blogger brendalove@gmail.com said…

    Come on America...its time to get tough! Even if it hurts some people's feelings!

    Great post, Greg.

  • At 3:56 PM, Blogger Greg Finnegan said…

    Thanks, Brenda. You tell 'em!

  • At 7:32 PM, Blogger Stew Magoo said…

    Looook here pal, this is endemicnik of the promblem asseffecting the racial RACIAL profiling (yes I said racial) today.

    Just because Mabel Smith didn't show up in that list today doesn't mean that Mabel isn't capable of doing dastardly deeds.

    These people eat FRUITCAKE for gosh's sake.

    Therefore I will still offer to get nude every time I go to the airport.

    We must be protected at any costs.

  • At 7:33 PM, Blogger Stew Magoo said…

    Oh and hooray milk!

  • At 8:32 PM, Blogger dom said…

    I booked a flight to see my fiancé in NC on monday (booked the flight that is ... not leaving till end sep) the price rose 150% overnight ! was it callous of me to say good job ?!

    All I say is God Bless America
    God bless Britain (especially England)
    and fuck you mad muslim weirdo's I'm still flying !

  • At 8:38 PM, Blogger merijoe said…

    big family the Khan's. what, no Jake?

  • At 11:18 AM, Blogger Wordnerd said…

    A-MEN, brotha!

  • At 11:21 AM, Blogger kenju said…

    Why don't they give you Chertoff's job? I really think you could do much better, Greg. That all sounds so plausible and efficient - unlike the gov.

  • At 11:50 AM, Blogger Greg Finnegan said…

    Stew, the idea is to take the terror OUT of flying. Stew being nekkid at the airport could be considered a terrorist act.

    Dom, good for you!

    Thanks, Wordnerd!

    Kenju, I probably wouldn't get the job because they aren't into either plausible or efficient. If we took "change" out of their lexicon we could probably lay off 15% + of the government.

  • At 12:23 PM, Blogger trinamick said…

    As a side point, the name Patel is an Indian name. It is a reference to the kind of work they are involved in. Many Indian men have that name who are not related.


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