Our Thing Gang

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The Feds in Chicago recently arrested Joey “The Clown” Lombardo, 76, along with 13 others charged with plotting several organized crime murders. Tony "The Ant" Spilotro was one of the victims, long suspected of running the Las Vegas operation for the Chicago "Outfit”. Frank "the German" Schweihs, 75, was arrested in Kentucky; he was an enforcer for “The Outfit”.

The guy who comes up with these titles, and a seemingly endless stream of quotation marks, remains on the lam. Angelo “The Titleist” Paisano has reportedly switched to a HP laptop PC from his 1954 era, 37 pound Underwood typewriter, so he can move more easily around the major turfs of Our Gang Crime, Inc. The G-Men say that once they put “The Titleist” on ice, the underworld’s bit players will go straight.

Meanwhile, their new strategy of looking at personal checks at area banks seems to be working. The bad guys cannot resist putting their title, in quotes, between their first and last names on checks, drivers licenses and return addresses.