Cheney On His Way To Baghdad

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Vice President Dick Cheney shot a millionaire lawyer who is a Republican in the face, neck and chest while hunting for quail this weekend in Texas.

The lawyer, Harry Whittington, shot a bird and went to retrieve it in the tall grass, while Cheney and another hunter walked to another spot and discovered a second covey. Whittington "came up from behind the vice president and the other hunter and didn't signal them or indicate to them or announce himself," the owner of the Armstrong ranch said. "The vice president didn't see him," she continued. "The covey flushed and the vice president picked out a bird and was following it and shot. Harry was in the line of fire and got peppered pretty good."

In 2003, Cheney shot about 70 farm raised pheasants in a controlled "hunt", in one session. Pheasant stew, pheasant sausage, pheasant salad, pheasant pizza ... you name it.

The U.S. Army in Iraq is rounding up fake birds on thin sticks, which they can tie to suspected insurgents. Some insurgents they will just tar and feather, with bright feathers. The idea is that if enough decorated insurgents run past Cheney and his shotgun, well, the war could be over in a few days. Just so long as the shotgun shells hold out.