Scientific Proof: Drunk Birds Can’t See Windows

In what some see as a parallel to whales beaching themselves, dozens of birds, drunk from eating holly berries, committed mass suicide by crashing into the glass of an office building in South Carolina this week.

"It was like an Alfred Hitchcock movie," Denise Wilkinson said. "It was spooky. You could hear them where they flew into the glass." Prolly see ‘em, too, I reckon.

Except we don't know why whales do it, but when a bird has a blood alcohol content of, oh, 50%....