Pirates of the Subterranean Caribbean

.
A terrible thought has taken my head;
A terrible, wonderful thought in my head.
I think of the pain, the suffering, the dead,
But that thought, that thought, well, it's just like I said.

Mike Eisner's in trouble with Disney, they say.
Too few good results for so very much pay.
To pasture he goes, as he's kicked by the Mouse
For not taking care of Uncle Walt's house.

Well, Mike is quite desperate, and you would be too.
Many goodies to pay for, and no chance to sue.
Katrina came through, all tough and mean,
But she skipped Orlando and the Ride Caribbean.

He thinks, 'Pirates the Ride is seen from a boat,
And New Orleans itself is now a big moat.
My thinker is hurting, what can I do
To make money for us from this terrible stew?'

He thinks and he thinks, a right jolly old thunk.
He thinks more and thinks of a ride he has sunk.
The Submarine ride, he thinks, what a waste.
Better to build Roller Coasters in Space.

'But now - hey, why not? It could fix up my mess,
If I could mix Pirates with a Submarine quest.
Take the boats out of Pirates, and put the Subs there
And pump in more water, as deep as you dare.'

And that's what they did, and now it's a hit.
See Pirates of the Subterranean, and don't care a whit.
It's under the water, like New Orleans is, too.
It's fun, it's different, and it's all in the news.

Eisner's fate is now fixed, no homeless retreat.
He made money from headlines, no little feat.
He's now on a roll, what will he do next?
Airplanes and buildings and terror, I'll bet!