Hasty Ruminations

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Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Happy Valentine's Day



Redneck Valentine Poem

Collards is green,
My dog's name is Blue
And I'm lucky to have
A sweet thang like you.

Yore hair is like cornsilk
A-flapping in the breeze.
Softer than Blue's
And without all them fleas.

Yo're as fragrant as okry
Jist a-fry'n in the pan.
Yo're as lovely as snuff
Right out of the can.

You have some'a yore teeth,
For which I am proud.
I hold my head high
When we're in a crowd.

On special occasions,
When you shave neath yore arms,
Well, I'm in hawg heaven,
And awed by yore charms.

Yo're as cute as a junebug
A-buzzin' overhead.
You ain't mean like those far ants
I found in my bed.

When you hold me real tight
Like a padded gunrack,
My life is complete;
Ain't nuttin' I lack.

Yore complexion, it's perfection,
Like the best vinyl sidin'.
Despite all the years,
Yore age, it keeps hidin'.

Me 'n' you's like a Moon Pie
With a RC cold drank,
We go together
Like a skunk goes with stank.

Some men, they buy chocolate
For Valentine's Day.
They git it at Wal-Mart,
It's romantic that way.

Some men git roses
On that special day
From the cooler at Kroger.
"That's impressive," I say.

Some men buy fine diamonds
From a flea market booth.
"Diamonds are forever,"
They explain, suave and couth.

But for this man, honey,
These won't do.
Cause yor'e too special,
You sweet thang you.

I got you a gift,
Without taste nor odor,
More useful than diamonds...
IT'S A NEW TROLL'N MOTOR!!


Thanks, Claudia!

1 Comments:

  • At 4:48 PM, Blogger Greg Finnegan said…

    1929. 2122 North Clark Street, Chicago. Seven of Bugs Morans boys waited inside of a warehouse for Bugs. They had no idea that a police car had pulled up outside, or that Moran had spotted the car and had quickly taken cover. Five men got out of the police car, three of them in uniforms and two in civilian clothing. They entered the building and a few moments later, the clatter of machine gun fire broke the stillness of the snowy morning. Soon after, the five figures emerged and they drove away. May's dog, inside of the warehouse, was barking and howling and when neighbors went to check and see what was going on... they discovered a bloody murder scene.

    Moran's men had been lined up against the rear wall of the garage and had been sprayed with machine-guns. They killed all seven of them but missed Bugs Moran. He had figured the arrival of the police car to be some sort of shakedown and had hung back. When the machine gunning started, he and two c ohortsv had fled.

    The murders broke the power of the North Side gang and Moran correctly blamed Al Capone. No one will probably ever know who the actual shooters were, but one of them was probably Machine Gun McGurn, one of Capone's most trusted men.

    Now, THAT was a St. Valentine's Day, Chicago style!

     

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