Happy Valentine's Day

Redneck Valentine Poem

Collards is green,
My dog's name is Blue
And I'm lucky to have
A sweet thang like you.

Yore hair is like cornsilk
A-flapping in the breeze.
Softer than Blue's
And without all them fleas.

Yo're as fragrant as okry
Jist a-fry'n in the pan.
Yo're as lovely as snuff
Right out of the can.

You have some'a yore teeth,
For which I am proud.
I hold my head high
When we're in a crowd.

On special occasions,
When you shave neath yore arms,
Well, I'm in hawg heaven,
And awed by yore charms.

Yo're as cute as a junebug
A-buzzin' overhead.
You ain't mean like those far ants
I found in my bed.

When you hold me real tight
Like a padded gunrack,
My life is complete;
Ain't nuttin' I lack.

Yore complexion, it's perfection,
Like the best vinyl sidin'.
Despite all the years,
Yore age, it keeps hidin'.

Me 'n' you's like a Moon Pie
With a RC cold drank,
We go together
Like a skunk goes with stank.

Some men, they buy chocolate
For Valentine's Day.
They git it at Wal-Mart,
It's romantic that way.

Some men git roses
On that special day
From the cooler at Kroger.
"That's impressive," I say.

Some men buy fine diamonds
From a flea market booth.
"Diamonds are forever,"
They explain, suave and couth.

But for this man, honey,
These won't do.
Cause yor'e too special,
You sweet thang you.

I got you a gift,
Without taste nor odor,
More useful than diamonds...
IT'S A NEW TROLL'N MOTOR!!


Thanks, Claudia!