Why Can't the English Learn... To Speak?

.

The passage below is fairly typical of things we all read every day:

“So get this, I'm allergic to the potato family. What am I speaking of? My allergies reacts when anything in the potato family which includes red potatoes white potatoes, baked potatoes, roma/cherry/vine/pinapple etc tomatoes, and other stuff I don't eat: eggplant, red pepper, green peppers, and chili.

"Can you comprehend what that means? no mashed potato and gravy, no ketcup, no speghetti, nothing with any of the ingredience mentioned. What a freaking bummer. Yikes is right. At least I'm not allergic to corn or sugar.... that would just devastate me. I guess I could eat a caprese salad but I may be itching all day the following day or it may affect my breathing. So happened I ate a caprese salad last night and I'm a little bit congested right now. what a set back. At least I can substitute startch for rice. “

The British were notoriously callous to their colonial servants, i.e., anyone whose country those Imperialists had conquered. Is it hard for the Brits to realize that everyone in the world has difficulty speaking and writing English? Even Lisa Doolittle. English does not have the consistent and reassuring rules of Latin or Greek; it does not have the melodies of Italian, the passion of Spanish, the precision of German or even the rhythms of Russian. It only has Shakespeare, and since no one speaks like that anymore we must read Shakespeare aloud to have even a chance of comprehension. Gnarly Charlie and Queen Elizabeth (Rue Brittania) sound effete, not educated, when they speak it as if their pinky were raised.

As to the passage above, it is from a blog, which in this case stands for “Bad Logic, Obscure Grammar”. Imagine: the person who wrote it maintains a blog because she enjoys writing! She is just hamstrung with using the worst language in the Galaxy.