Hasty Ruminations

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Wednesday, April 06, 2005

The Pope's Secret

A rumor on TV is that the Pope named a new cardinal recently "in pectore" (secretly, in the heart) so as not to announce his name in a country where to do so might endanger the Cardinal). They hope that John Paul II may name him in his papers.

Well, the truth can now be told. It's why we left New Jersey after all:

I have made my reservations for the Conclave, in Rome.
Lacy will accompany me as consigliare and , well, monsignor, I guess.
Pax vobiscum, youse guys.
Just remember: my vote cannot be bought, but I have a list of rental rates...


  • At 9:45 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    That's funnier than heck...I didn't even know that Cardinals were brining Consigliare's...or is that just the Cardinal's from Jersey!


  • At 12:56 PM, Blogger Greg Finnegan said…

    John, when Lacy saw me dress up in my new red outfit from Wal*Mart, she started packing her toys, Milk Bones and rawhide. She's goin'!


  • At 3:27 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Vote for me! Vote for me! Oh please, vote for me!! I look so good in white.

    I know that I can do the job:
    *Read the DaVinci Code
    * Very spiritual person: people have even been known to say, " Holy ****", when I walk in a room.
    *Like to pontificate.

  • At 10:22 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Dear...., well, I guess I really don’t know how to address you now..., your Grace, your holiness your Eminence, your cardinalship?

    Please accept my congratulations on your appointment as a Cardinal. I always expected it. I remember on many occasions, people saying , “Oh, that’s Greg, he’s a real Card alright.”
    I have never known a Cardinal before so I have a lot of questions I hope you can answer. Here are my top ten:

    *Are you sure you’re a Cardinal In Pectore? In your picture your “pecks” don’t look that great. (Your “abs” also need work..)

    *Is the conclave to select the Pope the origin of the phrase, “Holy Smoke”? (hm, this might actually be true.)

    *Were you chosen because you’re good at “blowing smoke”?

    *For youse guys from Jersey, is making someone a Cardinal the same as “flipping them the bird”?

    *Does an “early bird (Cardinal)” really get the worm? Why do you want them?( My idea has always been to sleep a little later and hope for sausage, biscuits, and grits.)

    *The 7 Cardinal sins are anger, pride, gluttony, sloth, envy, lust and greed. Which do you think you’ll enjoy the most?

    *About this College of Cardinals...did you consider any other schools? (Greg, some of these guys are in their 80's and still haven’t graduated. Even Bear Bryant couldn’t figure out a way to make his football players eligible for that long.)

    * I know the College has a great fraternity and nice beanies, but are the keg parties good? (Incidentally, I think you really should have a Sorority!!!!)

    *Do you think you’ll enjoy being sequestered with 116 men wearing dresses in a room I think they call the Sissy Chapel?

    * Can you beat the Cubs this year?

    All my best for your success,

  • At 7:36 AM, Blogger Greg Finnegan said…

    I never thought that this would happen. I am speech....


  • At 7:13 PM, Blogger Meredith said…

    That's hilarious!

    Well, Greg, you have only yourself to blame. "Pride goeth before a fall" and all that! :)


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