Mergers

And a tip o' the hat to good friend Claudia, in Atlanta.

Mergers to consider:

1. XEROX and WURLITZER (They're going to make reproductive organs)

2. FAIRCHILD ELECTRONICS and HONEYWELL COMPUTERS (The new company will be called Fairwell Honeychild)

3. POLYGRAM RECORDS, WARNER BROTHERS, and KEEBLER (The new company will be called Poly-Warner-Cracker)

4. NETSCAPE and YAHOO (Net n' Yahoo)

5. 3M and GOODYEAR(MMM Good)

6. JOHN DEERE and ABITIBI-PRICE (Deere Abi)

7. HONEYWELL, IMASCO, and HOME OIL (Honey, I'm Home)

8. DENISON MINES, ALLIANCE, and METAL MINING (Mine All Mine)

9. 3M, JC PENNEY, and THE METROPOLITAN OPERA COMPANY (3 Penney Opera)

10. GREY POUPON and DOCKERS PANTS (Poupon Pants)

11. KNOTT'S BERRY FARM and THE NATIONAL ORGANIZATION FOR WOMEN (The new company will be called Knott Now)

12. ZIPPO MANUFACTURING, AUDI, DOFASCO, and DAKOTA MINING (The new company will be called Zip Audi Do-Da)