Hasty Ruminations

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Saturday, March 26, 2005

More Fingers

The latest on Wendy's new chili, Digital Delight:

Anna Ayala, the 39-year old Las Vegas woman who bit into the finger (in her Wendy's chili), said she is still nauseous and sleepless over the incident. "That is very sick, sick, sick," Ayala told the San Jose Mercury News. "It's disgusting. You're playing with the human race."

Wait a moment... ... Who is playing with the human race?

Anna, this isn't like the plague, or Global Thermonuclear War, after all.

Ayala said she still flinches at the memory of the incident, which occurred when she stopped for a meal while preparing to drop off her in-laws after a trip to Mexico.

Aha! Probably all drug mules, eh, Anna?

"It's a taste I have never tasted in my whole life," she said.

Could be true. Some children don't suck their thumbs.

Peter Oakes, a restaurant analyst, said he doesn't expect Wendy's business to suffer long term. The hamburger chain serves about 6 million meals a day across the country and has a "national reputation for both quality and cleanliness," he said.

6 million fingers would be noticed.

"To me the yard stick here is whether the single incident prompts the consumer to lose confidence in the brand.

If they do, would we say they gave the finger to Wendy's? Oops, never mind.

It's understandable to see some kind of knee-jerk reaction," Oakes said.

PLEASE, no metaphors with body parts in this story! You're playing with... oh, never mind.

Airport Worker Gets Locked in Cargo Hold

Saturday March 26, 2005 7:01 AM

MILWAUKEE (AP) - An airport worker loading baggage in Milwaukee got locked inside the cargo hold of an airplane that flew to Philadelphia.

The worker was "a little stressed'' but uninjured after the unscheduled flight, a spokeswoman for Midwest Airlines said Friday. The cargo hold was heated and pressurized. "

Good thing this guy doesn't work in a hospital operating room ...

Friday, March 25, 2005

Minnesota Shooter Had A Mean Look

CNN.com - Victim recalls shooter's 'mean' look before rampage - Mar 24, 2005: "Cody Thunder had taken his usual seat Monday in biology class -- the one closest to the door for easy exit -- when he said he heard gunshots down the hall at Red Lake High School.

Speaking Thursday from a wheelchair at a hospital, the wounded 10th-grader recalled turning to see Jess Weise staring at him with what he called a 'mean' look."

(I saw that same look from everyone at the Slipknot concert.)

Cody later said he had tried to make friends with Weise earlier in school. But Weise "talked about nothing but guns and shooting people," he said, and the attempt to reach out didn't result in friendship. Weise covered his notebook with military insignia and would change his hair, once shaping it into a style "like devil horns or something," Thunder said.

But the student said he didn't think this behavior indicated Weise was prone to violence. "I never thought he would do this," he said. "I never thought he would come up and try to shoot up the school."

Doctors have decided to leave a bullet lodged in Thunder's hip.

Probably because they didn't like that answer either.

Michael Jackson's Fingers

abc7.com: news: "Michael Jackson's defense on Thursday used a prosecution forensics expert to raise questions about the impact of a yearlong delay in conducting fingerprint analysis on adult magazines after they were seized from Jackson's Neverland ranch, where the pop star is alleged to have molested a boy. "

Hey, did you see that some woman bit into a finger in a bowl of chili? At a Wendy's in San Jose. And did you notice that The Michael always wears ONE GLOVE?!

This could be "Solve-ed #3".

Sandra's Hollywood Star

abc7.com: news: "Sandra Bullock received the Hollywood Walk of Fame's 2,281st star, the day her new film, 'Miss Congeniality 2: Armed and Fabulous,' opens nationwide"

Reason enough for my pilgrimage to Hollywood...

Bobby Fisher Arrives In Iceland - Check

abc7.com: Fisher Arrives In Iceland, Suing U.S. Government: "Chess champion Bobby Fischer arrived in Iceland late Thursday as his lawyer filed suit against the U.S. The lawsuit alleges that American authorities conspired to have him held illegally in Japan for nine months, under what were called 'harsh conditions, amounting to torture.'"

This clown praised the 911 attacks on the United States. Let's extradite him from Iceland, and send him to Abu Ghraib in chains.

Cause Theresa Marie's Death?

Catholics in the Public Square: "Today, in the wake of the Supreme Court's rejection of the Schindlers' desperate appeal on behalf of their fast-fading daughter, ... staff writers for the Orlando Sentinel... begin their report with the following words, affirming that judgment:

Barring any unprecedented action by Gov. Jeb Bush, it appears that no person, no court and no law stands in the way of Terri Schiavo's death."

Those of us with similar incurable diseases - alcoholism, diabetes, hypertension - should take note.

Is it a coincidence that whenever mankind plays God with life (abortion, gas chambers, wars of aggression, death penalty, euthanasia) it doesn't go well?

Thursday, March 24, 2005

Lil' Bud

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Alas, Brenda reports the demise of the beloved if rebellious hamster, Little Bud. Bud was the subject of a little post here a few weeks ago.

In consolation, let us reflect that the purpose of all living creatures' life on earth is to prepare for Heaven. Hamsters die young because, unlike humans, they are already so nice that they don't need as much time to get ready as we do. And, they don't have Medicare or prescription drug benefits, either.

In fact, Bud has beat the Pope to heaven, so maybe he'll get a good spot.

Wednesday, March 23, 2005

Solve-ed Part Two

Barry Bonds is "soooooo tired".

The Pope can't even speak anymore. The rumor: Madame Tussaud's will loan the Vatican "something", in case...

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Solution: Put Barry Bonds in the Vatican window, and give the poor Pope a rest.

Thursday, March 17, 2005

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As Clouseau would say, "The case is Solve-ed!"

Sparkle's last name must be Plenty!

This was obviously (?) the inspiration for Brenda at Planet Brenda to give her daughter the stage name of Sparkle. Chester Gould was the father of comic star Dick Tracy, and here is the story about the Plenty's:

B.O. PlentyFirst appearance July 10, 1945 (Bob Oscar Plenty) and Gravel Gertie, first appearance Sept. 3, 1944. Plenty and Gertie's story line encapsulates Gould's ridiculous and satirical humor. Unlike many characters in Gould's story lines who last only a few days, Gravel Gertie, the reclusive owner of a gravel pit near Sunny Dell Acres, and B.O. Plenty are wildly popular and remain in the strip as friends of Tracy.

B.O., a seedy, bewhiskered and smelly small time crook, is also a faithful friend of the detective. B.O.'s cussing, spitting and tobacco chewing endear him to the eccentric Gravel Gertie. When they married on August 18, 1946, The Chicago Tribune-New York News Syndicate received hundreds of telegrams and letters congratulating B.O. Plenty and Gravel Gertie on their nuptials. A true example of the fans' devotion to Tracy and this bizarre couple, the syndicate received the strangest collection of wedding gifts ever showered upon a bride and groom, real or imaginary, including battered silver, razors, deodorant, hairpins and more.

Gertie tamed B.O.'s wild ways and the couple later conceived a daughter, Sparkle Plenty.

Dick Tracy and Tess Trueheart were best man and maid of honor at the wedding.

Fifth Wheel Trailer

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With the truck (below), this is the second part of the set - the home on the road for Lacy and me as I continue to work for my clients at their sites while grabbing some retirement between jobs. I am going to a RV show in Virginia this weekend to find a good one, and to buy it (I hope).

Wednesday, March 16, 2005

The Family Truckster

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I bought the first part of the set this week: a Ford F350 Super Duty truck with dual rear wheels, towing package, and because it's a 2003 model, 7.5 liter diesel. Ford switched to a 6 liter version recently, with some customer grumbling. It still has the plastic on the carpets, and is low mileage for a diesel. See, this little old lady... Mine is white, with a brush guard grille. Unlike the picture, it will not be used to haul wine barrels. It will be used to haul a fifth-wheel trailer, for Lacy and me to use when we are at a client for a long period of time, as has been the pattern for several years. I will get the truck next week, and I will have a liner sprayed into the bed, and a powered sun roof installed. A good friend and a fine Southern lady said, "Oh, that's a big ride!" So she has named it for me: Big Ride! I will have it stenciled on the sides.

Movie Quotes

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I started this as a short article, but it grew. Just jot down the quote number, and write the number and the movie's name in a comment. How many can you name?

Update: The solutions (by Meredith and by Mellie Helen) have been placed in bold type. Don't worry; the rest are from main stream movies - you will groan when you hear the answers. No artsy films.

Just two left, folks!

1. The Passion of The Christ
“My commandment to you after I am gone is this: Love one another. As I have loved you, so love one another.”

2. Titanic
“But this ship can't sink!"
“She is made of iron, sir. I assure you, she can. And she will. It is a mathematical certainty."

3. Goldfinger
“No, Mr. Bond. I expect you to die.”

4. The Pink Panther Strikes Again
Mrs. Leverlilly: “You've ruined that piano!”
Clouseau: “What is the price of one piano compared to the terrible crime that's been committed here?”
Mrs. Leverlilly: “But that's a priceless Steinway!”
Clouseau: “Not anymore.”

5. The Green Mile
“I didn't know the sponge was supposed to be wet.”

6. When Harry Met Sally
"I'll have what she's having."

7. ET
"I'll be right here." (HINT: After he phones home...)

8. The Breakfast Club
“The next time I have to come in here, I'm crackin' skulls!”

9. War Games
“Shall we play a game?”

Foley: “Mayo I want you D.O.R.”
Mayo: “No sir. You can kick me out, but I ain't quitting.”
Foley: “Get in to your fatigues Mayo cause by the end of weekend you'll quit.”

(HINT: Another quote from this famous drill sergeant: Better stop eyeballing me, boy. You're not worthy enough to look your superiors in the eye! Use your peripheral vision, or I'll rip your eyeballs out of their sockets and eat them for breakfast! Understand...? Now, when I say "Understand," I want the whole group to say "Yes, sir!" UNDERSTAND...! Hey, folks, we ain't stupid around here. We know why most of you come here. But before you get to sell what we teach you over at United Airlines, you gotta give the Navy six years of your life. Lots of things can happen in six years, including another war. And if any of you are too peaceful to dump napalm on an enemy village where there MIGHT be women and children, I'm gonna find that out. UNDERSTAND...!

11. Back to the Future
“Wait a minute, Doc. Ah... Are you telling me you built a time machine... out of a DeLorean?”

12. Steel Magnolias
“Sammy's so confused. He don't know whether to scratch his watch or wind his butt.”

13. A Christmas Story
“It's... it's... it's indescribably beautiful! It reminds me of the Fourth of July!”

(HINT: "You could put your eye out!")

14. Beverly Hills Cop
“Wait a second, I have an idea. Is there something that I have in this office that I can hand to you, and that would make you kind of forget that you're holding those pink tickets there?”

Eddie: “I don't know if I oughta go sailin' down no hill with nothin' between the ground and my brains but a piece of government plastic.”
Clark: “Do you really think it matters, Eddie?”

16. Caddyshack
“Licensed to kill gophers by the government of the United Nations. Man, free to kill gophers at will. To kill, you must know your enemy, and in this case my enemy is a varmint. And a varmint will never quit - ever. They're like the Viet Cong - Varmint Cong. So you have to fall back on superior intelligence and superior firepower. And that's all she wrote.”

17. The Naked Gun
Frank: “It's the same old story. Boy finds girl, boy loses girl, girl finds boy, boy forgets girl, boy remembers girl, girl dies in a tragic blimp accident over the Orange Bowl on New Year's Day.”
Jane Spencer: “Goodyear?”
Frank: “No, the worst.”

18. Star Wars: A New Hope
“Aren't you a little short for a stormtrooper?”

19. Goonies
“Hey, you guys!”

20. Rain Man
“It's a 1949 Buick Roadmaster. Straight 8. Fireball 8. Only 8,985 production models. Dad let's me drive slow on the driveway. But not on Monday, definitely not on Monday.”

21. Ghostbusters
“Gozer the Traveler. He will come in one of the pre-chosen forms. During the rectification of the Vuldrini, the traveler came as a large and moving Torg! Then, during the third reconciliation of the last of the McKetrick supplicants, they chose a new form for him: that of a giant Slor! Many Shuvs and Zuuls knew what it was to be roasted in the depths of the Slor that day, I can tell you!”

(HINT: This movie had a starring role for the Sta-Puft Marshmallow Man.)

22. Top Gun
Maverick: “She's lost that loving feeling.”
Goose: “No, no she hasn't.”
Maverick: “Oh, yes she has.”
Goose: “I hate it when she does that.”

23. Young Frankenstein
“Do you mean to tell me that I put an abnormal brain into an 8 foot tall, 300 pound, GORILLA?!!!”

24. Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure
“Be excellent to each other... And party on, dudes.”

25. Blues Brothers
“No I didn't. Honest... I ran out of gas. I, I had a flat tire. I didn't have enough money for cab fare. My tux didn't come back from the cleaners. An old friend came in from out of town. Someone stole my car. There was an earthquake. A terrible flood. Locusts. IT WASN'T MY FAULT, I SWEAR TO GOD.”

Can you think of other memorable quotes from favorite movies? I think that we have just scratched the surface.

Please see Meredith's link here. And a great job by Mellie Helen, too!

Saturday, March 12, 2005

Now I know

Friday, March 11, 2005

Hollywood Squares

Another good one from Silver Fox:

This is an oldie but a goodie that has been around for more than a year. I think it's still one of the funniest items on the internet...I can just visualize ol Charlie Weaver and Paul Lynde giving their responses without missing a beat.

If you remember the Original Hollywood Squares and its comics, this may bring tears to your eyes. Responses were spontaneous and clever, not scripted and (often) dull as they are now. Peter Marshall was the host asking the questions...

Q. Do female frogs croak?
A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.

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Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump at least how high should you be?
A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.

Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years.
A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.

Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman?
A. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.

Q. According to Cosmo, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's married?
A. Rose Marie: No; wait until morning.

Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?
A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.

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Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say "I Love You"?
A. Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty.

Q. What are "Do It," "I Can Help," and "I Can't Get Enough"?
A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the next apartment.

Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands while talking?
A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question Peter, and I'll give you a gesture you'll never forget.

Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?
A. Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.

Q. Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during the first year?
A. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing strawberries.

Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score?
A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.

Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist
camps. One is politics, what is the other?
A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures.

Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?
A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom.

Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?
A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.

Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a goose do?
A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?

Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?
A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark.

Q. According to Ann Landers, is their anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people?
A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.

Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is it?
A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused, but it certainly isn't neglected.

Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do?
A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.

Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant?
A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?

Q. When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex?
A. Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car, the rest is up to him.

Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?
A. Charley Weaver: His feet

Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in bed?
A. Paul Lynde: Point and Laugh

Hitler's Resort

Some people just don't get it.

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This didn't start out to be "Kick the Brits" day; it's just turning out that way. The British-owned InterContinental Resort is going to try to build a resort where Hermann Goring lived, and where Hitler wrote some of "Mein Kampf": Berchtesgaden.

Go figure.

Send In The Clouds

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If this is tongue in cheek, it's very good. If it is serious, it makes Tony Blair look almost sane!

Thursday, March 10, 2005

Harry Potter

Thanks and a tip 'o the hat to Meredith at Random Thoughts for the great Harry Potter button above!

Wednesday, March 09, 2005

Pope makes surprise appearances


Find the Cardinal who keeps propping the Pope up in a drafty window, and you've found the guy who wants the job.

How not to look like a tourist in Dublin

Here is something to read before you go to Dublin. Even if you live in Cork!

Speedy Reply

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The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window.

"I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said.

The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could."

When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.

Thanks to Crosswalk.com.

Monday, March 07, 2005

Twenty Major - still smoking in Dublin bars.

Sure and if you think this is an Irish blog because of my name, and the preponderance of green here and there, well read the link:

"There's been some talk on some other Irish blogs about what exactly makes an Irish blog Irish. Is it Irish if it's hosted in Ireland? What about if the blogger is Irish but the subject matter isn't especially Irish? What if the blogger is not Irish but the subject matter is Irish related? Can we apply the 'granny rule' to Irish bloggers as we do to Irish footballers? Who is the Tony Cascarino of Irish blogs then? Who will the goalscoring John Aldridge and who will be the 'Why did we bother with him anyway' Bernie Slaven?

"To end the confusion once and for all I have designed a set of easy to distinguish criteria which will make it easy for people to see if their blog is Irish or not."

Calvin and Hobbes

My family is addicted to C&H.

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Check this out:

"Welcome to the complete Calvin & Hobbes archive, brought to you by stfunoob.com, celebrating the greatness of the comic by Bill Watterson.
On September 1, 2005 'The Complete Calvin and Hobbes' will be released. Amazon is now taking pre orders for it, the price is $94.50."

Sunday, March 06, 2005

Planet Potato - an Irish blog

Please click on the link and see some beautiful pictures of Ireland: Glendalough and the Wicklow Mountains in winter.

"More Glendalough. Wow what an amazing day. Walking around the Wicklow mountains, in snow and we were stripped down to base layers it was so hot.
Some general views from Brockagh-ish area."

Friday, March 04, 2005

Martha Stewart

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There probably is no truth to the rumor that Martha Stewart, Ex-Con with four felony convictions, is starting a new line of room de-odorizers called "Smellin’ Like A Felon". And she will likely not endorse a Portugese/Spanish textbook, "Spellin’ Like Magellan".

The folks at Dr. Scholl’s Foot Pads, however, remain optimistic.

Martha Stewart Living Omnimedia rejected a toned-down title:

Martha Stewart Subliminal
Like A Criminal

We Have Moved!

We said good bye to the Residence Inn last Monday, and the movers showed up in North Carolina right on time. We were moved in by 5:00 pm. Now, just a little unpacking remains...

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Lacy is cured, too! She ate her first "real" food last night, and she is back to announcing the presence of every living thing, and most trucks, to me in case I missed them. A bird flew into the open garage of the new house, and I couldn't decide who would have the first heart attack: the bird, or Lacy! The bird escaped unharmed, of course.

I was off line for three days. Withdrawal? Nah . . . I've always had this twitch. twitch.

One more trip to Maryland to retrieve the last trailer load. Meanwhile . . . I am on Day Three of the Vigil for the Cable Guy and the Satellite TV Guy. Satellite Guy showed up yesterday, with no tools and lots of excuses. We have rescheduled. (They both get my blood pressure up, so I decided to order cable AND satellite and have a race. At this rate, both will be last.)

Tuesday, March 01, 2005

Lacy Is Home!

But we're not...

Let me explain. Lacy the doggie came home yesterday, February 28th, after a frightening time which wound up as a four night stay at the vets. He said she still has blood at times in her stool, and dry heaves once or twice a day, but he thinks she's much better, and better off at home. I agree, and Lacy obviously does! He loaded me up with medications and bland food for her, and a bunch of instructions.

Last night, we left from Maryland after the movers left with my stuff. It was snowing, and by the time I cleaned the house, it was 8:30 pm. I hooked up the trailer with 3000 pounds of select stuff that I didn't send the with movers (yard tractor, lawn mower, snow blower - my toys!). At 9:30 pm, I stopped at a rest stop and we took a short nap because I was drifting off. Got up at midnight!

We drove through Virginia, but I started sleeping again, so we pulled off for another nap at 2:30 am. We woke at 5:00 (!), and got to the hotel in Durham at 5:30. It's now 9:30 am, and time to get the keys for the new house.

Lacy is still asleep.